Cyber courage...Is it courage at all?

So, you told someone that you would go with them to their cousin's wedding reception. But as the day draws closer, you dread going and decide that you're not going to go. In the old days, you would have no choice but to call the person on the phone to let them know how disappointed you are that "something" has come up! But these days?!?!?! I definitely appreciate the ease of communication! I can now be contacted through this blog, my facebook page, my home email, my school email, calling my home phone, calling my cell phone, or texting me! And I don't mind being that accessible!


What's interesting, though, is how comfortable we can feel behind those electronic facades. It's amazing how courageous I feel via email. I will say things in emails that I wouldn't have the guts to say in person. Sometimes honest emails can spur good face to face interactions. Other times, email is used as a way to disappoint, without having to face the music of being the one who disappointed. Hence the phrase, cyber courage.


I have known of many cyber courage incidents. I have a friend that openly shares her feelings about personal topics via email, but is a clam when talking in person. I have friends who received text messages to break dates. I even know someone who received a "Dear John" letter via text message.


I am no fan of confrontation. I avoid it like the plague. Sometimes I am afraid that I'll upset someone if I can't fulfill an expectation. And sometimes I don't want to deal with that feeling. I know I am not alone in this! Perhaps that is what makes cyber courage so attractive.


Merriam-Webster online defines "courage" as : mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. Another definition given for "courage" is a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain without showing fear. It seems that the definition of courage involves enduring, withstanding, and facing...not sending emails, im's and text messages! So perhaps, cyber "courage" is not really courage at all!


Yet we believe that cyber courage allows us to truly be "ourselves" and say whatever we want, without regard to others, because somehow out of sight is out of mind. So, the next time you send a raging email, ask yourself, would I say these things face to face, or am I succombing, again, to cyber pseudo-courage!